Opinion By “Deplorable” Consumer Advocate Tim Bolen
There is a simple way to tell the difference between a liberal and a conservative in a public place – their cell phone proximity.
It has been right here in front of us all this time. There is a way to tell exactly who’s who in the political scheme of things. No one can hide any more. The secret is out.
In Public – Liberals’ faces are glued to their Smart Phone screens, earbuds in place, as they absorb today’s personal programming. You see this happening everywhere – not just at Starbucks.
In Public – Conservatives, if they have a cell phone in their hand at all, are talking on it to someone else, probably arranging a lunch, a meeting, an outdoor activity, etc. where people congregate and communicate with each other personally – actually LOOKING at each other while they communicate not only with words, but body language, and other senses.
I HATE Smart Phones…
I am “Old School.” With me cell phones are for phone calls. LARGE computer screens are for websites and email. Since I am a political conservative I have a FULL, interesting life.
I have a modern up-to-date flip phone. Works everywhere. Phone rings – flip it open, smile, say hello. Life is good…
The other day my wife’s flip-phone dropped dead. Time to get her a new one.
So, we ask, what do we need? She doesn’t want the the same phone as me. Says mine looks like a black hand grenade. (It does). And, MAYBE it is time to add on a few NEW features. For an upcoming trip maybe we should get one of those “Navigation” features, better than the one on my car, and something she can use to send endless photos to her FaceBook page, like everybody else.
So, I start looking around. Why me, you ask? When you are married to someone for over fifty years there are clear divisions of labor. I do the technical stuff – all of the research, setting up, tech support, you-name-it. Then I show her how to use it. If it stops working, I find it on my desk.
I make the coffee. She makes it too weak. When I make espresso/cappaccino she drinks a glass of water with it.
So, after some coffee we climb in the car…
…and head for a store I know has a big selection of phones. I am looking for “simple.” I know there are smart(?) phones out there that in order to answer them you have to stick your right index finger into a little hole in the back of the phone, while you press your left ear to the upper left corner of the screen while also pressing your tongue to the lower right corner and answering your security question with the words “Abra-Cadabra”, and “Albert Einstein.” Don’t slur your words, for the phone needs “precise.” On about the fifth ring, I’m told, a little white box appears in the upper right hand corner of the screen that says “Are you certain you want to answer this call? Your mood reading shows you are anxious…”
It gets better – for after that ANOTHER little white box appears saying “Perhaps you should let this call go to message until after you have a bowel movement?…”
Do you think I’m exaggerating?
Continue reading Smart Phones Are Being Used To Control The Liberal Voter Base…