Australian Amphibious Assault Force Being Assembled…
It’s not every day you find yourself mentioned in The Hollywood Reporter.
It wasn’t because I obsessively Google myself that I discovered this information, but because my brother called me last Friday night, laughing hysterically. I almost couldn’t understand what he was saying because he was laughing so hard. I imagine he had tears coming out of his eyes as he tried to explain it to me. It was that kind of a conversation.
He’d been reading an article about R. Kelley promoting an international tour, but Kelly was blocked from traveling to Australia because of allegations involving underage girls.
“Okay, what does this have to do with me?” I thought as my brother read from the article.
Then he got to the money shot from The Hollywood Reporter.
“Australia has denied entry to other foreigners on character grounds, among them troubled R & B singer Chris Brown, convicted classified document leaker Chelsea Maning, anti-vaxxer Kent Heckenlively and Gavin McInnes, founder of the all-male far-right group Proud Boys.”
That’s when I started to laugh hysterically.
I did a little research and found that Fortune magazine also had an article on the controversy and had to put me in it as well.
“Australia’s laws permit those of poor character to be barred from entry. In the past, Australia has blocked other notable figures for reasons like domestic violence or discriminatory politics, AP reports. This includes singer Chris Brown, classified document leaker Chelsea Manning, anti-vaxxer Kent Heckenlively, and Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnes.”
It was at this point I wanted to start playing the “Which of these things is not like the other?” game
~ R. Kelley is accused of sex with underage girls.
~ Chris Brown has been convicted of domestic violence against his then-girlfriend, the singer Rhianna.
~ Bradley (later Chelsea) Manning, stole documents exposing U.S. war crimes in Iraq to Wiki-Leaks, was tried, convicted, imprisoned, and later had his sentence commuted by President Obama. Oh, and while in jail, he transitioned from Bradley to Chelsea.
~ Gavin McInnes, founder of Proud Boys is accused of being discriminatory and the tech gods are now trying to eliminate him from all social media platforms, including Patreon.
~ Kent Heckenlively is the author of two books, PLAGUE, written with twenty-year government scientist, Judy Mikovits, and INOCULATED. INOCULATED is based on documents Heckenlively received from Congressman William Posey, based on claims of a senior CDC scientist, Dr. William Thompson, that the government is covering up a link between earlier administration of the MMR vaccine and autism in African-American boys.
If the allegations raised by Dr. William Thompson are true…
…then it is the greatest crime committed by science against the African-American population since the Tuskegee syphilis experiments. Given the number of people affected, it’s my opinion that the claims of Dr. Thompson are THOUSANDS OF TIMES worse than what happened in the Tuskegee experiment.
INOCULATED is THE definitive book of the Thompson claims.
But according to Australia, I’m the one with poor character.
You know what comes next, don’t you, dear reader?
It’s time for ruthless satire.
Time to mock Hollywood with a few scenes from a yet-to-be-produced movie in which this band of misfits joins together to topple the corrupt Australian government.
Let’s call this proposed movie, The Dirty Half-Dozen…
…in homage to that classic World War II movie. I’m putting my editor, Tim Bolen, in the film as well, as the admiral in charge of the operation. He would be offended if I didn’t lump him in with others of poor character.
This is what would be in the trailer.
SCENE 1 – An abandoned ranch in the hills above Malibu serving as a military training facility. The members of this special team have been assembled. R. KELLY, CHRIS BROWN, CHELSEA MANNING, KENT HECKENLIVELY, and GAVIN MCINNES stand at attention.
ADMIRAL BOLEN, a non-nonsense Navy man, muscular beyond belief despite his age, short hair, strides down the central walkway of the barracks, cigar smoke trailing behind him.
ADMIRAL BOLEN: “Men, and former men, you’ve been gathered together for a very special purpose. Either you accept this mission or it’s jail for all of you. You are going to liberate Australia from the grip of the pharmaceutical tyranny which has spread across the civilized world. It’s important you understand your enemy, so while we are training and when we’re in the field you’ll be led by Captain Manning.”
CAPTAIN CHELSEA MANNING, now a slender blonde woman, steps out from the group to address them.
CAPTAIN CHELSEA MANNING: (High-pitched voice.) Thank you, Admiral Bolen. We have a very determined enemy in Australia. The pharmaceutical companies have bought off the politicians, bullied the press, and convinced the local population that we’re the enemy.
CHRIS BROWN: (Shakes his head.) Shit! I ain’t gonna listen to this lady! I mean, this man! Lady, I mean, man, hell, I don’t know what I mean.
ADMIRAL BOLEN steps in front of CHRIS BROWN.
GENERAL BOLEN: You’re way out of line, son. Manning is tougher and smarter than any of you, bitches. So, if you want to live, you’ll listen!
ADMIRAL BOLEN and CHRIS BROWN eyeball each other for a moment, then BROWN steps back.
We are aboard the small troop transport, breaking through the choppy water as they make their way to the Australian shore, just like they did on D-Day at Normandy.
The camera pans up and we see an enormous amphibious assault group behind them, but our heroes are the tip of the spear.
We go back to the troop transport and see our team loaded down with weapons. Explosions in the water soak the members of the boat. KENT HECKENLIVELY sticks his head above the edge of the boat and sees puffs of gunfire and mortar shells from dug-in locations on the beach.
KENT HECKENLIVELY: Looks like the natives are restless!
R. KELLY: Who you calling a native, you cracker! I think you might be the whitest, white boy I’ve ever seen!
GAVIN MCINNES: He was calling the Australians natives, you idiot!
CAPTAIN CHELSEA MANNING: (High-pitched voice) Pipe down everybody. We’re getting ready to hit the beach where we’ll meet the worst trolls and scum that pharma can buy. From that point on you’re all brothers . . . and sisters.
MANNING checks her machine gun, the boat hits the beach, the ramp falls, and MANNING is first onto the beach, screaming at the top of her lungs as her machine gun blazes with hot lead . . .
TO BE CONTINUED . . .
Kent’s book PLAGUE was released by Skyhorse Publishing in 2014 and is now available in paperback. Skyhorse also publishes the work of Mo Yan, the 2012 recipient of the Nobel Prize in literature.
The book is co-authored with Judy Mikovits PhD. It is an indictment of the “Fake Science” we find so prevalent in the US.