CONFIDENCE – and Why It’s Not a “Bad” Word…

The Thing About Millennials…

By Sharon Anshaw

 

Recently I was asked “What makes YOU so confident in yourself?” 

It was done almost accusingly, from a millennial type with a posse, (I’m guessing they were late 20’s early 30’s-ish) after I stood up for myself in some situation.  Not important “the what” as much as “the why.”

My first thought was to respond with; “Why aren’t you?  And why do you feel you have a right to belittle me for my courage to stand up for what I believe in, even though I stand alone. Does your wolf pack make you better? Or does it just give you the confidence you lack personally?”

But in typical fashion, I just smiled and turned away and left it to them to figure out. (Drives them crazy).

But I found myself pondering the question afterwards. I wonder why millennials aren’t confident in themselves? Why do they feel they have to roam in packs, whether it be in person, or on twitter, or Facebook, or social media in general? Or in riots against our President or officials enforcing the laws. Why do they crave the acceptance of someone agreeing, someone paying attention to them? Why is it that so many in that age group are lacking standard confidence in themselves?

What is it that made me so different from them?

I don’t travel in packs. I have a small circle of friends. I have little interaction on social media, of any kind. Purposely! Most comments and derogatory remarks are from “bots” anyway. If a friend or family member doesn’t comment, it isn’t important. I was raised with “Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt me.” Didn’t they ever hear that?

Sure, not everyone has a confidence in themselves, no matter what age. But why is that sense of worth of one’s self disappearing more and more?  Why are the young millennials craving – to the point of madness – ATTENTION?

So I started thinking back to the beginning -MY beginnings.

I had a mother and father that lived together all my years growing up. They weren’t perfect. They argued, they yelled, they cried, they laughed. They made many mistakes. But I was a part of it all. I went off to a babysitter at a young age. Mom and Dad both worked trying to keep the house and cars and dogs and kids and all else intact.

We had schoolwork each afternoon after school. We had chores when we got home. We didn’t go out much, but we did all gather around the television on Saturday nights to watch the latest Disney movie or other family friendly type film. If there wasn’t anything worthwhile on, we listened to records, music or comedy. We talked, told or made up stories to amuse ourselves. We read books. We went on vacations together.

Then I stopped and realized.

The common thread in all this was WE. We existed as a family. We lived our lives together, good and bad. We laughed together and cried together. We relied on each other.

I realized, it was My parents that taught me confidence and it wasn’t an easy road.

When I was good I was praised and congratulated. When I was bad I got yelled at, or if really bad, a swat on the behind. Just hard enough so I remembered who was in charge. It was not meant to be hurtful, it was meant to be meaningful. And afterwards it was always “now go to your room and think about what you did wrong. When you are ready to apologize and explain why you did it, you can come out.” Of course that timeframe modified with age and degree of episode of badness, but it was the common theme.

I was made to “think”. It was expected of me. It was encouraged. It was mandatory. I was part of a group, “a family,” but I was my own person.  As I got older and just a little wiser, my thoughts and opinions were heard, then understood, then finally appreciated. Sometimes now even admired.

I didn’t have to go out and search for someone to pay attention to me. I had a group of friends from grade school on. Some I am still in contact with. They always wanted to come to my house. Now that I’m older I know why.

My parents treated them the same as me. With respect. With love. They were considered extended family. When they came over, they were home. When they came over they also had chores to do. They had homework to finish. They pitched in like everyone else. And they loved it.

My parents also allowed them to be themselves. Listened to their thoughts and comments. Praised them and chewed them out if needed.

And in turn won the respect and love of all of them.

What’s happening now?

I wonder if parents now-a-days even think along those lines. In today’s society of “I” and “me” are parents able to put themselves aside and consider their children? Do they put work aside when they get home to make family time? Do they make time to just listen to their children? Listen and really hear them. Carry on a conversation with them. Not just how was your day, that’s nice.

Do they believe the “experts” on how to raise their children, the doctors who say vaccines are necessary all the while knowing that it is only the money that they are interested in, not the health and well being of people. The teachers who have set aside their principles to follow the “government curriculum” of world acceptance and control afraid to criticize knowing full well they should. Do the parents read the schoolbooks the children are learning from? Or are they so programmed that they also just follow the crowd because the “pack” all does it.

Then we have the liberal politicians who preach “shame on you, you proud American.” As if the American people had done something wrong. Like we should be ashamed of loving and protecting our country. Who came up with that plan?

The media moguls who are spreading the hate and lies and acting like a large majority of the population feels that way. I hear from them how busy everyone is. How you send the kids to the video games, or tv, or web. Anything but human interaction.

The Hollywood acting crowd who are so insecure to begin with, preaching how we “the little guy” need to share and give more of what we have to support them and their kind. While they make millions, have mansions and live the life only a lottery winner in our group could. They take our money, our support and then try to shame and criticize us. I have news for you people. If it wasn’t for John Q Public you wouldn’t exist. Ever hear the phrase “ don’t bite the hand that feeds you?” I didn’t think so.

But now I’m starting to see the truth, as is many John Q Public citizens. The truth that everything has been done to support the salaries of the rich, including the politicians (did you ever hear of a politician that had to eat ketchup noodles growing up?) Their pay comes from the American people after all. Remember the US government doesn’t make money on their own. They use the monies collected from it’s citizens, and was supposed to be doing it to benefit the people.

Then suddenly President Trump is elected and  “well, looky looky what we have here.” Regardless of your political party,  he has done more to expose that the corruption has morphed to a degree that few believed or dare talk about in the past. He has exposed the media and Large corporations especially pharma and Insurance who are running the show by bribing and corrupting anyone and everyone to serve their needs. Its all about the money.

You want to find out who is actually responsible?

Follow the money trail. It is like bread crumbs to the witch’s house.

I’m hoping now, with eyes wide open, the American people will stand up for their rights, stand up with confidence and reclaim their heritage. The constitution is not a bad document, an unfair piece of paper. It is the bedrock on which this country was founded. It’s why America exists separate from it’s tyrannical former leaders.

Let’s hope this new wave of conservatism spurns a confidence that is worthy of the country we love. I give thanks every day for our President and for him taking our country down a hard road, but one that will reap the best benefits. Leading is not easy, no matter what you have been told. It takes personal values, inspiration and yes “Confidence.”

That’s my two cents…

By Sharon Anshaw